


Insomnia

by gemstone_6



Series: MarchusAnnus [10]
Category: markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Homophobic Dad, I'm sorry Eric honey :(, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, MarchusAnnus, Panic Attacks, Parent Death, just a bit, lowkey projection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23099191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemstone_6/pseuds/gemstone_6
Summary: Eric has a hard time falling asleep, 3 am anxious thoughts ensue
Series: MarchusAnnus [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651543
Kudos: 11





	Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> Day 10!  
> Finally made a story abt Eric! and I hurt him  
> which is normal at this point

Eric sat on his bed, it was late and the only light in his room was coming through his window. He’s been trying to fall asleep, but he couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried to. He was used to this though, he could never get enough sleep, there were too many things that ran through his head every night that it was impossible for him to fall asleep.

Eric knew he had anxiety, it was blatantly obvious to everyone, even his mom knew he needed help. His dad was… less than supportive of the idea of him getting help, his dad just thought he needed to grow out of it, and after his mom died, his dad would never bring up that topic around him.

Maybe he was still up because of that, maybe he was just terrified for tomorrow, his dad was going to be advertising for some kind of charity event and he wanted Eric and another employee to help. That meant he had to be in front of the camera for god knows how long, he hated being in front of the camera but his dad made him do it, or else he’d face some kind of consequence. Maybe it won’t be so bad but Eric had his doubts, it was always a terrible experience that left him so emotionally drained. 

Maybe he was up because he knew that his dad would never accept the fact that he was bisexual, he didn’t like thinking about that. Eric had heard his dad talk about the fact that’d he’d disown and kick out any one of his sons if they came out as gay, Eric couldn’t handle that. He was dealing with so much already that being disowned by the last family he had alive would be the final straw for him. So he’d keep those terrible thoughts buried deep down in his mind, and tried not to think about them, even if it hurt him. 

Maybe it was because he missed his mom and his brothers. His mom was so caring towards him, and always looked out for him, she’d never had him do something he was uncomfortable with doing, even if it ended in his dad and his mom getting into a fight, it never ended well for her. He tried to comfort her after those fights, but he could never find the right words so he just sat with her as she cried. He always felt useless when he sat with her, he couldn’t do anything and he hated that but his mom always reassured him that he was doing enough just being there for her. Her death hit him the hardest, it was the darkest year of his life. He felt guilty looking back on it. 

Eric shifted around in his bed and opened his phone to check the time, it was 3:30 am. He sighed and put down his phone, he’s been up for 5 hours now. He had to be up in 3 hours from now, he knew it was going to be an even longer day. Eric closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep again, but his thoughts only grew worse, his room was too quiet and he couldn’t find any way to drown them out. He didn’t realize he was crying until he had to choke back a sob and covered his mouth with his pillow, he had to be careful when he started crying, he didn’t want to wake up his dad and upset him. Eric laid there, shaking and sobbing about nothing he could pinpoint. Maybe he was crying because he was a failure, maybe it was because he knew his dad was disappointed in him because he wasn’t normal. Maybe it was because he couldn’t do anything right and would always fall short. Eric couldn’t tell and he didn’t care anymore, he just continued to cry until the sun peeked through his curtains and his alarm went off.


End file.
